Monday, October 17, 2005


Or: "Don't Worry, It's Just This Once"

Okay, I usually don't engage in memes. But this one was pretty interesting as a writing exercise, so let's go for broke.

The first part involves randomly listing 12 characters from various fandoms. So here we go:

1. Jack Shephard (Lost)
2. Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
3. Johnny Smith (Dead Zone)
4. Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII)
5. Cole Turner (Charmed)
6. Sawyer (Lost)
7. Dr. Gila Abulafia (Israeli television drama "In Therapy")
8. Tai-San (The Tribe)
9. Ares, God of War (Xena: Warrior Princess)
10. Death (Sandman)
11. Sam Gamgee (Lord of the Rings movieverse)
12. Jessica Jones (Alias)

And now, the questions:

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Sawyer and Sam? *LMAO* I'm thinking that would only work out as a comedy, really.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

I'm sure most male FF7 gamers appreciated the fact that Tifa's breasts took up more pixels than her head...

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Well, Tai-San would get philosophical about it, tell everyone it was a manifestation of love and hope, yadda yadda. Jessica, on the other hand, would probably use this opportunity to get drunk, but at least she wouldn't be whining about being pregnant anymore.

4) Can you rec any fic about Nine?

I never really delved much into Xena fanfic, but as I understand it there's an entire school of Ares writers. Someone somewhere must have pulled it off...

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Faith and Sawyer? Oh my GOD yes. They're so compatible it's scary: both on the run from dark pasts, involving accidental homicides. They'll use anyone they can if it means they win. Plus, Sawyer likes getting beaten up by tough women, and Faith likes guys who don't get all mushy the morning after. It could totally work out for them.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Cole and Ares or Cole and Death. Why not both? Something for everyone! Cole and Ares would have that whole alpha-male black-leather gimme-pain thing going on, and since Cole dies every season anyway, he and Death are probably on a first-name basis now.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If Gila walked in on Faith and Jessica, she'd be subtle about it, and quickly apply the psychoanalytical interpretation to the situation. She'd probably come up with a pretty accurate portrait of why it's happening. Though I'm not so sure anyone could pretend not to notice these two characters going at it; they'd probably bring down the roof.

8) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Johnny Smith finally kills Greg Stillson, and is mortally wounded in the process. As he's dying, his powers trigger one last vision where he and Death have a chat about life.

9) Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?

As a rule, "The Tribe" is a pretty non-mainstream show; I don't think much fiction has been written about it at all, to say nothing of crossovers.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Gila/Jessica? That's easy: "My Shrink Thinks I'm Crazy".

11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?

Yikes. Well, the Island would probably have to start switching genders around for it to even be biologically possible...

12) Does anyone on your list read Seven slash?

Doubtful, it's probably not a well-known show outside the country.

13) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Probably not.

14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

If they do, I'd very much like to know about it. :)

15) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Faith/Tifa/Cole? Ugh, sounds like a nightmare to coordinate. Hell, I wouldn't do it myself.

16) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

"A little me! A little me!"

17) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose?

Cynthia Harrell, "I Am The Wind".

18) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warnings be?

Warning: Smut, slash, threesomes and character death. Not necessarily in that order.

19) What might be a good pickup line for Two to use on Ten?

"I'm your biggest fan!"

20) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Never read a Cole Turner fic. I feel somehow deprived. :(

21) What is Six's super-sekrit kink?

He likes it rough. Very, very, very rough.

22) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

Never. Sam's... well, whatever hobbits have, I'm not too clear on that, but like the rest of his body parts, it's got "PROPERTY OF FRODO BAGGINS" stamped on it.

23) If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

Probably Gila. By all accounts, Johnny seems to be a rather lousy lay.

24) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Okay, let me see... Jack and Ares, then Ares runs off with Tifa (I can believe that). Jack has a fling with Sam (again, *LMAO*), an unhappy affair with Jessica (ooh, that has potential), then follows Cole's wise (wise? The guy that married Phoebe Fucking Halliwell?) advice and finds true love with Johnny Smith (nobody finds true love with Johnny Smith. It's like, a law of physics!).

I would title this fic "The Crossover From Hell", and while I could probably convince some friends to read it, I would never inflict it on them. This is one story that should not be written, by anyone. :)

25) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Gila and Tai-San would be weird. There's the age gap (Gila's in her sixties, Tai-San's barely eighteen), plus Gila is more into the scientific way of life than Tai-San's mystical voodoo. But Tai-San has always been characterized as having an "old soul", so who knows.

Well, wasn't that fun? :)